Introduction
I am a couples counselor and AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice in Seattle. I have devoted my therapy practice to helping couples develop the skills and capacity for true emotional...
View ArticleLearning to tolerate complexity
If we understand that life is complex, why do we act as if it’s really black and white? Complexity and ambiguity can provoke uneasiness; a common antidote to that anxiety is to decide that life is...
View ArticleEmotional gridlock
Emotional gridlock is a term coined by Dr. David Schnarch to describe the seemingly insurmountable impasses that couples reach. For many issues, people can compromise and accommodate and surrender in...
View ArticleWhat does integrity have to do with sex?
Integrity [in-teg-ri-tee]: noun adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished. Over time, our primary relationship...
View ArticleWhich of you wants more sex?
If you are in a long-term relationship, one of you does. And you have a partner who doesn’t. How do I know that? Because over time, in any long term committed relationship, a system develops in which...
View ArticleWhat sex therapy IS and IS NOT
Sex therapy IS psychotherapy that addresses issues of sexuality, sexual functioning, sexual health and reproduction. It is talk therapy that uses a variety of approaches to improve a person’s...
View ArticleIt’s OK if you don’t want more sex
If you are the partner in a committed relationship with the lower interest in sex, there are some questions it would you serve you to answer. I suggest you look at the dynamics in your relationship...
View ArticleWhat do if you want more sex
In any long-term, committed relationship, one person wants more sex than the other. There’s no judgment about that; it’s just the way it works. It doesn’t have to be a problem at all, but it can become...
View ArticleWhen is it time for couples counseling?
I have met couples who came to counseling when it was too late. One, or both, of them had already become so dead to the relationship that they were unwilling to engage in bringing it back to life. In...
View ArticleMost of sex therapy is not about sex.
Most of sex therapy is not about sex; it is largely about working with grief and loss. This statement hit me hard when I first heard it in graduate school, and it was the impact of this idea on me that...
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